


A Circle of Despair

by Natileroxs



Category: Homestuck, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Everyone Is Alive, God Tier, Infinity Gems, More characters to be added, More ships to be added, Multi, Not Beta Read, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Spoilers, Swearing, all op as shit, because they deserve that shit, by making this sadder, i'll just fix that shit, infinity war just broke me, obviously, so fuck that, they went through a fuck ton
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-07-07 06:46:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15903012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natileroxs/pseuds/Natileroxs
Summary: ⇒ Unsnop?If you could, you would. But you can't, so you won't.





	1. The Beginning of the End

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really excited for this fic, holy fuck this is going to be fun to write. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck or anything Marvel
> 
> The Aspect Wheel for reference   
> https://www.deviantart.com/natileroxs/art/Aspect-Wheel-New-773862374?ga_submit_new=10%3A1543035819

**⇒ Unsnap**

 

Error

 

**⇒ Unsnop?**

 

Error. Error. Error.

 

**⇒ Be ???**

 

You were there at the start of the universe. Well, this one at least. You saw it happen. You made it happen.

 

This is your universe. You and your friends hold claim to it the minute you took the handle in your hand and opened the door. All of you used your powers to create this new universe of yours.

 

You’d sorted out this certain circle which would maximise your powers even more, not that you needed it since your powers already became much stronger the minute you won. You’d created a universe full of diverse worlds and cultures and people. You and your other human companions had modeled the earth as much after the one you knew as you could.

 

But you’d found something out. You would have to sustain the universe somehow. No one wanted to stay in statice, unable to truly live. They’d already sacrificed so much, they refused to let the promises of a normal life escape their grasp.

 

Rose had suggested it. She said that it would be good to create some sort of objects which could sustain the universe so that you all could have some peace. Dave tried the idea out and found that the universe didn’t really need that much power to exist without them. So all of them placed a little energy into 6 stones and spread them across the universe to simply exist.

 

You, Tavros, Rufioh, Gamzee and Kurloz created the Power Stone. It balanced the rage and breath aspects you’d all spread across the universe. Jade, Kanaya, Porrim, Karkat and Kankri created the Space Stone; Dave, Aradia, Damara, Sollux and Mituna created the Time Stone, which had ended up in the protection of who they saw as the right person; Rose, Vriska, Aranea, Terezi and Latula had all created the Mind stone, the three younger girls happy to be together; Roxy, Jane, Equius and Horuss, Feferi and Meenah created the Reality Stone and finally Dirk, Jake, Nepeta and Meulin, Eridan and Cronus all created the Soul Stone.

 

You all left the stones to their own devices, letting yourselves be caught in the swing of a regular life, with a few extra perks due to your powers. All the trolls chose to stay with you guys on earth, using their powers to appear human.

 

Slowly though, you’d realised that the earth you now lived on was a little different. This one had superheros and magic. It was incredible, especially as an observer. To admire the way they used their powers the way they did.

 

That’s what you are doing now. All of you were split up into aspect groups, as you did sometimes. It simply gave you a little boost in power and energy. You, Rufioh and Tavros watch as the news replays clips caught only a few hours prior, when some weird aliens - You don’t think you’d created them, but it has been such a long time, perhaps you forgot? - came to earth and some superheroes fought them. Iron man, who is a big favourite of Jade’s, is center stage in the clips. Jade says that all the superheroes from the comics and then some were in this universe.

 

And then it happens. You feel it deep in your bones.

 

**⇒ Now Unsnop**

 

You can feel it, but you don’t know what it is yet. So you can’t just ‘unsnop’. Don’t be unreasonable.

 

Also why ‘unsnop’? Why not ‘unsnap’ or ‘undo the act of someone pressing their thumb and middle finger together and sliding them against each other to make a noise’?

 

**⇒ Okay undo the act of someone pressing their thumb and middle finger together and sliding them against each other to make a noise**

 

No, fuck you.

 

**⇒ Be ???**

 

You don’t quite remember your name. What is it?

 

**⇒ Hurry up and remember**

 

Okay, okay, jeez. It’s not like your entire world is imploding inside itself.

 

Your name is Dave Strider and the Time Stone is gone. It’s fucking gone. You can’t see it at all. Which can only mean one thing. Well two things. Either, Doctor Strange is caput or he’s willingly given up the stone in order to keep someone safe.

 

The unfortunate thing is that you could feel the stone being torn away from it’s true protector, one that you and the others had waited for fucking ever for. And then nothing. It hurts your head and you groan into your hand. The girls nod and Damara immediately places her cigarette in the corner of her mouth and takes a few heavy drags which has what seems to be a pain relieving effect. You feel like you could go for something like that right now. But you just lay on the bed, willing the pain to leave you and join all the other ex’s you have.

 

Then you get a sudden feeling that makes you feel sick. It’s like someone has their hands around your throat and so you start scratching at your neck. Aradia notices first, crawling over to you, on her knees before falling backwards. She is breathing heavily and making strange, strangled noises. You keep clawing at your throat as Damara steps over to you, trying not to sound too alarmed.

 

“Fuck,” Your curse can barely leave your mouth. You suddenly feel dizzy and stop your attempt to get up, vision blurring. Then you’re paralyzed and can’t move an inch. You hear Aradia calm, let out a gentle sigh and then go silent. Your eyes are closed but you can hear Damara’s sharp intake of breath and you struggle to move, unsure of what is happening.

 

Your eyes snap open and you can see the city out the window. You see chaos and distress and nothing makes sense. You can only think of one thing.

 

“John, Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” Your voice is hoarse and you feel weak. Your vision is going black and you’re feeling your body fading away. “John.” The sound barely leaves your mouth and then you are gone.


	2. With Our One Foot In The Grave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is guys. The second chapter. Took me ages to write but it's here.
> 
> Chapter title is from Go Get Your Gun by The Dear Hunter

**⇒ Be ???**

 

You are Sollux Captor and you can’t see. Your eyes are screaming in pain and stray golden tears slide down your face. You attempt to speak but you can’t. Mituna grasps your arm, he is shaking. 

 

“S-s-s-t-top it! S-s-s-top,” His voice stutters out. Shakes you, even more, screaming. It’s not like it’s your fault. And like hell can you stop it. Unfortunately. He screeches more and more and you heard people starting to make a ruckus outside, startled by the noise and then you shouting and crying outside. You move, only an inch, and it sends shockwaves through your body and you’re paralyzed. You feel your heart slowing down. You feel dizzy. Mituna is quiet now, but his grip doesn’t falter until there’s nothing left to hold. Until you literally just disappear after you mouth the words ‘you’ll be okay’ to him. 

 

**⇒ Be ???**

 

You are Kanaya Maryam and she’s crying. Your bones feel like they’re shattering into thousands of pieces yet you keep moving. Porrim holds the girl to her chest, but she shakes all the same. Her hands quiver and your eyes bead up with tears. You are in so much agony, yet she feels it too. Even though it’s not her time. 

 

Jade Harley is sobbing, which doesn’t happen too much, and it breaks your heart more than anything. So you keep going and just barely catch her fingers before your hand dissipates into ashes. Porrim brushes Jade’s hair back and then the human girl is alone. All alone.

 

**⇒ Be ???**

 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You scream and gasp. You can’t breathe. You can’t. No oxygen with go in your mouth. 

 

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you fucking can’t breathe and nothing makes fucking sense. Kankri doesn’t seem to notice the fact that you’re struggling and is more ranting about your language before you gasp out the words he needs to hear. “I can’t motherfucking BREATHE!” The words are garbled and raspy, but it gets your point across. Kankri is cut off and freezes at the state of you. You cough and cough and cough yet your throat won’t unblock. It’s like something's over your windpipe. 

 

You feel dizzy and don’t notice when Kankri catches you and lowers you to the ground. For once he is completely silent and you’re not too comforted with that fact, despite your previous reservations. He wipes the hair away from your face as you gasp and gasp and choke. “Motherfuc-”

 

You never finish the swear.

 

**⇒ Be ???**

 

“Jane!” You cry out. “Dirk!” You reach into thin air. You cough and taste iron on your tongue, spitting blood across the carpet. You suddenly hold your nose yet more of the red substance drips out in waves. 

 

Your name is Roxy Lalonde and you’re dying, you know it. You’ve died before, sure, but not like this. You’re not even sure what this is. “Jane! Dirk! Please!” You plead. 

 

“Nepeta! Is she okay?” You hear Equius’ voice, and then a gagging noise. Blue blood mixes with yours. “Look after her! Please! I only trust you with this. She is in your care!” He suddenly goes quiet and your heart beats up and you can feel more blood forcing its way up your throat.

 

“JANE! HELP ME!”

 

**⇒ Be ???**

 

“Oh dear, Roxy.” Your voice is weak. You hold your side. There is nothing there, no wound, no nothing. Yet there is pain. You stumble and Feferi helps you to the couch before you collapse to the ground. On the ground, Meenah lays, face scrunched up and hissing. 

 

You feel your eyelids sliding closed and Feferi grasps your arm. You hear Meenah as she stifled a scream. Then she hisses, “Aw mother glubber,” and falls silent. 

 

Your name is Jane Crocker and you are fading into oblivion. “Roxy?”

 

**⇒ Be ???**

 

You are John Egbert and your hands are intertwined with two brothers. Rufioh lays beside you, struggling to not let tears consume him. Tavros is situated on the other side, shaking with fear. You feel lightheaded, dizzy. You don’t understand what is happening, and neither do the other two. 

 

Tavros sits up and almost collapses under his own weight. With what little power he has left, he floats himself close enough to grasp Rufioh’s other hand. “Help me,” His voice is small, quiet. “Please, Rufioh. Help me,”

 

He is gone and you know what’s coming for you. 

 

“Oh no…”

**⇒ Be ???**

 

“What’s happening?” You’re so scared. You’ve never been so scared in your entire motherfucking life. You clutch your heart and let out a small sob, purple tears leaking out of your eyes. “What’s going on?” 

 

Your brother is there. His hands tremble as he attempts to communicate but your eyes are so blurred that you can’t see a single thing he signs. He catches you when you fall forward, waiting for your body to start working properly. It doesn’t.

 

You are Gamzee Makara and while you couldn’t see it, your brother has just told you how much you mean to him. Even as you shatter in his arms. 

 

_ I love you _

 

**⇒ Be ???**

 

Your name is Dirk Strider and you want your boyfriend, you really, really want him right now. Your fingers tremble and you shiver as goosebumps crawl up your arms. You’re so cold, but no matter what you do you can’t get warm. No matter how many blankets or sweaters you cover yourself in it doesn’t work. 

 

The elder cat sister’s lips are blue and her stray tears from the cold are turning to ice. She too rubs her arms in an attempt to warm up, lips trembling as Nepeta stares, scampering over and clasping her hands around her sisters, wincing from the temperature

 

She signs to Nepeta with wobbling hands.  _ I trust you _

 

You watch with wide eyes as she turns to dust right in front of you. Your heart drops and you curl into yourself, willing yourself to feel warm again, to be anywhere but here with a crying Nepeta and the horrifying truth of fading away. 

 

“Jake,” You whisper and you can’t even feel your feet anymore. “Where are you, Jake?”

 

**⇒ Be ???**

 

You’re on fire, fanning your face and leaving scorch marks in the carpet. The tears in your eyes evaporate as soon as they leave your eyes despite not a single flame around you. 

 

The boy next to you, pouring water on himself despite his prior protests of messing up his hair, is dying. He looks over at the third boy in the room, whose lips are pressed into a thin line. He reaches out to touch his brother but hesitates. His brother rasps out a few words. “I hope you’re okay, Kankri…” And he scatters into ashes right before your eyes. 

 

Your name is Jake English and your fingers are crumbling and body turning to dust and you can’t do a thing about it. Your whole body turns to ice for one short second and blood freezes as dread fills you up. “Dirk, don’t be dead, please don’t be dead.” 

 

**⇒ Be ???**

You look up at your sister and despite the pain tearing your heart to pieces until nothing's left. Tears well in her eyes and you gather up a shaky grin. “It’s okay, sis’. Good luck,” She smiles although streams of tears drift down her face and at her lips, dripping down to her chin. “Stay cool.”

 

Your name is Latula Pyrope and you are disappearing, and so is the happiness in your sister's blind eyes.

 

**⇒ Be???**

 

“I should have seen this coming,” You hold your head gently in your hands, as if you’d feel better if you do so. You cover your eyes and the girl who’s lap you are lying in is running her fingers down your arms as she lets out choked laughter. 

 

“You’ll be fine,” She says in a breath. The other girl in the room, who sinks more and more into the cushion she lays against, hums. She stares over at the both of you. 

 

“Survive, sister,” They girl holding you shakes her head and you feel droplets splatter in your hair. The other girl fully sinks away and soon is completely gone. 

 

Your name is Rose Lalonde and although she is crying your name, you can’t stop it. You can’t.

 

**⇒ Now Unsnop?**

 

Working on it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's just character deaths after character deaths, don't worry, next chapter will probably have the Avengers in it.


	3. I May Seem Kind To You, But I'll Rip Your Heart In Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeet
> 
> But seriously, I'm sorry this took so long. I've just started school again for the last time, and I have so many other fics to update. I hope to have more updates sooner but I will not give out promises I cannot keep.
> 
> Chapter title from Mrs. Infamous by Palaye Royale

**⇒ Be ???**

 

You can’t remember your name right now, you are absolutely freaking out. How could you remember your name right now? What is your name?

 

**⇒ Okay, calm down**

 

Breathe, yeah, you get it, you get it. 

 

**⇒ Be ???**

 

Your name is Rufioh Nitram. And you just need to breathe, to calm down and think. Think about what you know. Just… just focus.

 

Death, that’s what you know. Lots and lots of it. It’s familiar to you, very familiar. 

 

Loss, yeah, you know that all right. You have a second to wonder about the fate of Meenah, of Horuss. Then you rise off the ground and let your god tier clothes materialize over your hoodie. The wind picks up eerily slowly and objects slowly begin to float. You throw your hands out and they crash harshly into the wall, glass shattering upon impact. You then breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, and will yourself towards the window and out. 

 

Hell.

 

Everything has gone to hell. 

 

You know it has something to do with what just happened -  _ breathe, breathe, breathe. You’re a hero of breath god damn it  _ \- but you don’t know what just happened so you decide it’s hell and leave it at that. Yet, you know hell doesn’t exist, because you were dead and so was everyone else and you all just ended up in the same damn place with the ghost hands and white eyes and terror, terror, terror. But if hell  _ did _ exist, it would be this.

 

You draw your hands back and then forward, causing a massive gust of wind to blow out a massive fire that had sprung up from a fallen helicopter. Another blast of wind is aimed at a plane currently crashing close by. You stop it before it hits the ground and land it ever so carefully before flying out into the open. Not expecting an audience -  _ isn’t everything else more concerning right now _ \- you wave your fingers about and your disguise falls, pale skin peeling away to grey. You feel your teeth sharpen and your ears get longer and pointier. After checking your nose ring was still in place, you free fall to the ground, catching yourself at the last second before setting your feet down on the grass. You then send a large gust of wind upward, blowing leaves and twigs off trees and into a mini tornado. That should get the other’s attention. 

 

And it most certainly does. 

 

**⇒ Be ???**

 

Stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it. Stop shaking, stop freaking out, calm down. Calm motherfucking down. Stop, stop, stop. 

 

**⇒ ???**

 

Calm -  _ calm?  _ \- be calm. Calm down -  _ hOw????  _ \- you just need to calm down and you can sort this out -  _ yOU rRREallY tHink THAt????  _ \- yes, you can. 

 

Calm, calm. You can -  _ can fucking not - _ do calm. Calm? 

 

**⇒ Be ???**

 

Mituna, yes, yes. Your name is Mituna. M.I.T.U.N.A. And what’s your last name? Cat? Cator? Cap _ tor _ ? Yes, yes. C.A.P.T.O.R.

 

Yes, your name is Mituna Captor and you are  **not** _ \- yes you  _ **_are_ ** \- freaking out. You are being calm. Very, very calm. Despite the gold tears catching at your lips and staining your human cheeks yellow, you are perfectly fine.  _ Perfectly, perfectly, perfectly.  _

 

FiNE, fIIINE, FINE.

 

Your hair is a mess, but when is it not, so you quickly shake it out again before brushing it back. You then rub your hands roughly against the carpet and it hurts so much but they are so dirty and no, no, no, no. Start again. They are  **not** dirty, Mituna. You need to caaaaaaaaaaaaaalm down. 

 

One flick from your wrist and you are wearing dark green and black instead of yellow. Another and your horns are back on your head and your forked tongue is hissing out incomprehensible garble just as it should be. You let yourself rise up, body somewhat limp and psionics starting to spark again as horror creeps over the shock and everything else. 

 

“Calm.” You whisper and it sounds all wonky. You try again and it sounds even worse. So you hold your tongue and spin the door handle, darting through your doorway and down the stairs, only bumping your head once. Which is something you guess?  _ Something, something, something SHUT UP.  _

 

You make it onto the street in time to crash into someone who is  _ screaming, screaming shut the fuck UP _ and you fall to the ground, barely having enough time to pull yourself up before you get trampled. Then you realise, there are people  **everywhere** . You can barely keep up among the swarm and you immediately regret your decision to drop your disguise. For a second. Then you’re just confused. Because no one is looking at you. Among all the chaos, your appearance is just, ignored. So you fly, you fly upwards and gaze through your curtain of hair, through the red and blue sparks, and search for something, someone,  _ SOMEONE PLEASE _ , to be there, looking for you. A life line. 

 

A harsh wind pushes you backwards and your teeth chatter loudly as you sweep your eyes across to a figure standing on the grass, four trees almost perfectly framing the bull horned, red haired troll with bronze wings. Like lighting, you fly towards it. Because please, please, pllllease have a solution, ppppleassee know how to fix this. You’re begging every single thing in every universe that has ever existed. 

 

Please, please, please. 

  
  


**⇒ Be ???**

 

You know your name. You are sure of that. Pretty sure. 

 

So what is it?

 

**⇒ Remember your name**

 

Kurloz

 

**⇒ Kurloz ???**

 

Kurloz Makara.

 

**⇒ Be Kurloz Makara**

 

You already are Kurloz Makara and you’ve never wanted to not be Kurloz Makara ever in your life, and death. 

 

You deafened your matesprit, your morial went insane, you stitched your lips closed, you  _ died _ . And yet, this is what gets you. This is what makes purple tears fall from your eyes and makes you shake. Because your baby brother died in your arms. 

 

It’s not like he hasn’t already died before. He’s died, plenty of times and mostly you’d barely bat an eyelash each time. But that was different. Those other times you had been one; gunning for him to die, he’d mind controlled you for fuck sake and two; he’d simply become a ghost as you were. He was sober and insane and you hated him. 

 

Past tense. 

 

You love him, your dear brother. His mind free from the evil growing inside that stupid game, cursed game. You have long since forgiven him, understanding his actions as not his own. He’d broken down crying after you’d finished. 

 

You are under the impression that when the humans opened the door you’d all been tossed right through. You’d found your eyes clear of the white glaze of death. The stitches on your lips began to feel real and agony had returned to your lips once again. The clothes had surprised you, poofy purple pants, short cape, and hood. Almost like a god tier outfit. 

 

In shock, you’d turned to see every single one of your friends standing about in god tier outfits as well as a selection of others, from trolls to humans. A ‘fridge’ lie on the ground, chains wrapped around it. A loud wail echoed from it, followed by harsh, choked sobs. You’d gone and snapped the chains into tiny pieces with a single touch and thrown the door open to find Gamzee, tears running down his face as a  _ real _ god tier outfit covered his body. Gone from his face was the sadistic, insane look he’d had every other time you’d seen him.

 

He’d been shivering and so you’d pulled him out and fluttered upwards with your new wings, and he’d clutched your shirt and sobbed into it. 

 

That’s the Gamzee you mourn right now. The one you want back, you are getting back. 

 

You are getting him back, whatever the cost. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed/suffered

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to anyone who comments or leaves kudos
> 
> Looking for beta reader for this. Please comment if you're willing


End file.
